A bloggy friend Iris over at Country Girl’s Daybook posted a link to this post, “My Husband Is Not My Soulmate” by Hannah over at Art in Life on her FB page. (is that confusing you like it’s confusing me?) Interesting. I wrote such a long response, that I figured I’d just turn it into a post :) .
go take a read and come on right back here…
Hi, Okay, so…
I think that, from a Catholic perspective (and I know that you guys aren’t all Catholic) that this line is not necessarily true:
“But then my theologian biblical scholar father shattered my dreams by informing me that God doesn’t have a husband for me, doesn’t have a plan for who I marry.”
God could certainly have a plan – a person – for us to marry. Or He may not. We don’t know. He can do anything. He’s God. Also, the idea of a ‘vocation of marriage’ seems to be missing here. When we think of a vocation, then marriage IS a very “specific element of God’s ‘plan for my life.”
But, it is healthy to realize that, when dating, we need to take off those ‘perfect man’ binoculars and take a look at those who God has put in our lives. We need to be open, ready to get to know the people who are around us, and allow God to work. If we put up too many expectational barriers, we can make things very difficult for ourselves. Like here, where the author talks about what she used to think it would be like:”And THE ONE would most likely be a worship minister, or at the very least a youth pastor, and we would have to be in college when we would meet at some sort of rally to save children from disease or something. We would know that he was THE ONE because of his plethora of WWJD bracelets and because (duh) he had also kissed dating goodbye and was waiting for me, strumming Chris Tomlin songs on his guitar as he stared into whatever campfire was nearby. We would get married and it would be awesome FOREVER.” She’s a hoot!
and she does have a great, healthy perspective on marriage:
“I will not fall out of love, cannot fall out of love, because I willingly dived in and I’m choosing daily to stay in. This is my joyous task, my daily decision. This is my marriage.”
and her mom’s a gem:
“once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person. As for compatibility, my mom would always pipe up when my girlfriends and I were making our lists of what we wanted in a spouse (dear well meaning Christian adults who thought this would help us not date scumbags: that was a bad idea and wholly unfair to men everywhere) that all that really mattered was that he loved the lord, made you laugh, and was someone you to whom you were attracted. The rest is frosting.”
I think that when we think of our will and God’s will, the lines get hazy. We don’t have to figure it out – God can work through our choices, or despite them, and help us find our vocation, our true love, our soul mate.
For me, my husband is my perfect companion. He loves me like no one ever has. He understand me better than I do sometimes. He understands my goofy moods, my emotional reactions, what upsets me and gets me pumped. And I love him excruciatingly. I don’t know what the definition of a soul mate is, but that might be it.
What do you think?